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              新東方網留學托福首頁托福輔導托福寫作正文

              托福寫作之滿分作文的三大核心

              2016-11-23 10:54

              來源:新東方網整理

              作者:

                ETS 8月發布了2015年托福考生成績報告,中國托福考生平均分78分,6年來幾乎沒啥變化,其中寫作20分。講真,這個分數比較符合語言學習規律,沒有大量的輸入就不會有更好的輸出。從小到大,我們英語作文沒少寫,可托福寫作還是容易遇到瓶頸,18—20—20—19,和國足的戰績一樣穩定,歸根結底6個字:“沒有掌握方法”。

                滿分作文的三大核心是結構、內容和語言

                首先我們先從結構、內容和語言三個方面揭秘托福作文獨立任務得滿分的真相。

                以下題為例: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinions.

                一、結構

                按題材劃分,獨立任務屬于議論文,而論點、理由、論據、結論和論證是議論文的五個要素。具體來說,“論點”是文章的核心,“理由”是論點成立的依據,兩者構成因果關系;“論據”是對理由的具體解釋,多為事例;“結論”是對觀點的重申,兩者一脈相承、頭尾呼應;而整個寫作過程就是一個“論證”的過程。

                要想作文得高分,這五要素就必須面面俱到,如此才能寫出結構嚴謹、條理清晰的高分作文

                先上一篇范文(下拉可見全文):

                As society progresses remarkably, tremendous changes have taken place in people’s life. Nevertheless, some senior citizens cherish the memory of good old days with healthy environment and harmonious interpersonal relationships. As far as I’m concerned, despite serious environmental pollution and prevalence of materialism, 【背景介紹,作者給出了兩個時代的對比】 I still believe today’s life to be easier and more comfortable than it was when our grandparents were children. 【提出論點】 I am going to elaborate my viewpoint from three aspects as follows. 【過渡句,承上啟下】

                To begin with, modern communication technology has changed our lives a lot and provides us with much convenience. 【理由 1】To be more specific, with the wide application of smartphones and the Internet, it is possible for people to contact each other even if they live separately. 【論證為什么理由 1 可以推出觀點】 For example, Lily, one of my best friends, is lucky to be admitted into a famous university in America, which means we cannot always hang out together. But thanks to the modern communication technology, we still keep frequent touch with each other on Skype anytime, anywhere. Therefore we feel never apart.

                【例子 1】

                Besides, a variety of means of transportation make it quick and cozy for people to travel. 【理由 2】 Subways, taxis, private cars, high-speed railways shorten the distance between places. 【論證為什么理由 2 可以推出觀點】A good example in point is that my grandparents used to live in suburbs, and anytime they want to do some shopping in urban center, it usually took them 2 hours, owing to bumpy roads and low-efficient old-fashioned vehicles. On the contrary, with great improvement of road condition and advanced traffic modes, they only have to spend 20 minutes a most traveling from home to the city. If it is very hot in summer, all modern vehicles are air-conditioned, which can make the trip very comfortable.

                【例子 2】

                Last but not least, today’s ample food supply and various food choices are something beyond imagination in the past. 【理由 3】 Decades ago, in China, all foods used to be arranged by the government. In other words, it was impossible for people to purchase what they liked to eat. 【論證為什么理由 3 可以推出觀點】 For example, an average family was only allocated 1 pound of pork and 2 pounds of rice. In contrast, nowadays, we never have to worry about the lack of food because supermarkets and snack bars abound.

                【例子 3】

                To sum up, because of the progress of economy and technology, I am convinced that life at present is more comfortable and easier, which can be well demonstrated through examples of convenient communication, quick and cozy traffic modes and sufficient food supply and choices. 【總結理由,重申觀點】 If our government takes efficient measures to solve the environmental problem, our world will become a better place to live.

                【提出建議,展望未來】

                議論文除了五要素,在給出論點之前多會有簡單的背景介紹,不需要長,三兩句話即可,為論點的提出造勢。

                二、內容

                這篇范文通過通訊、交通和飲食三個方面,共同論證現在的孩子相較其祖父輩生活的更輕松、舒適,每個理由下面都有具體的事例作為細節支撐,讓論證更有說服力。

                以飲食為例,作者舉例說,以前食品由政府分配,數量有限制,人們不能隨心所欲買到需要的食品;而現在則大不一樣,在超市里人們可以買到任何所需物品。這種新舊對比,更鮮明的表現出現代社會物資豐富、人們的選擇權增加,由此可推斷人們的生活變得更便捷、舒適,從而證明論點。

                三、語言

                一篇高分作文在語言上,首先要保證語法正確,用詞恰當,這樣才能準確達意。在此基礎上可以追求更多樣、高級的表達。例如,文章開頭要表現“社會發展迅速,人們的生活發生了天翻地覆的變化”這一含義,最常見的表達為:

                Sample 1: Our society develops quickly, and people’s life has changed greatly.

                Sample 2: With the rapid development of society, enormous change has happened in people’s life.

                Sample 3: As society progresses remarkably, tremendous changes have taken place in people’s life.

                通過三個句子對比可知,其中“迅速”的三種表達方式,quickly 最為平淡,rapid 居中,remarkable 最佳。同樣的,要表達“翻天覆地”的含義,tremendous 就要比 great 或者 enormous 好的多,其他替換的詞還有 considerable,drastic,significant 等等。

                語言的優化需要不斷的積累和練習,多記多練,不斷擴充自己的語料庫,唯有如此,文章才會寫的越來越漂亮,但是咱們很多考生平時不練筆,不積累語料,想單純依賴“復雜單詞,黃金句型”就拿高分——基本沒戲。

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              (編輯:馬菲)

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